HIPSTER HANDBOOK

Hipster - One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer recommended that one use the term “cool”; a Hipster would instead say “deck.”) The Hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and shuns or reduces to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A Hipster ideally possesses no more than 2 percent body fat.

USE CAUTION

Super fun high quality chopsticks

A RAT’S BIRTHDAY

For my rat-obsessed roomate’s 21st b-day I made her this cake, of her 2 beloved pet rats Ula Mata (Hawaiian for Red Eye) and Deluxe “feasting” upon her birthday cake.

BATHTUB ART MUSEUM

Every pet ends up in the tub at some point, and a pet in the tub is an excellent photo opportunity. From cute posed dogs to angry wet cats, here is an exhibit on real photographs of pets. Most of the postcards are quite new and were found in the last five years in postcard racks in bookshops and the like. They reflect the sort of postcard sent during this era.

FIND YOUR PHOTO

World School Photographs has one of the largest databases on the World Wide Web. Have you lost your old school photographs? Good news, we should have them in our database!! World School Photographs would like to say thanks to all countries involved for all their help. Without it, this site would not be possible. This company started in Ireland in 1994 with 7 staff. Today, World School Photographs has over 8,000 staff in 14 different countries. Our Website has a 98 percent success rate. And it is now one of the fastest growing sites on the World Wide Web.

KEYBOARD SEAT

This unique stool is a great low-tech item for any computer geek. Insert this eye-catching seat in the dorm, game room or even an internet café . The contoured shape holds your backspace just like your finger rests in a key. Measures 22 inches square and 15 inches high and has 'sit' printed on the top. We also offer to customized these stools with your own message or logo. Made of durable plastic, these chairs are lightweight and can be easily shifted around or stacked. A must for any computer whiz!

PICKUP LINES

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fell in love.

PRESIDENT’S SERVICE MEDALS

George W. Bush doesn’t flaunt his hard-won war medals. Occasionally he will wear them if he is attending a formal or military event, but for the most part, they are tucked away in his trophy cabinet.

Due to a large number of requests for information about his wartime heroism, I began studying his medals. What I found surprised me, and I felt it was my duty as an American to spread these remarkable findings.

COUNTERFEIT MINI

At the CCC, we’re dedicated to putting an end to the victimization associated with purchasing a counterfeit MINI Cooper. We cooperate with MINI and international law enforcement to pursue criminals. But there’s one other crucial partner we need to recruit: YOU. We can’t do this without YOU. Educate yourself about the problem. Learn how to detect a fake. Know when you’re being hoodwinked. Together, we can put an end to this appalling injustice. Together, we can make our streets genuine once again.

LEGO ARTWORK

OK, OK, I admit it. I’m an adult and I still play with LEGOs. Actually, it’s quite fun. When I was a kid, I never quite had enough bricks to put together the projects I wanted. The only difference is... hmm... Well I guess I still don’t have enough bricks for the projects I want to build, but I sure have a LOT more bricks than I used to!

CHINESE & ENGLISH

Chinglish: The humorous version of English that appears (often in instructions for assembling or using products) after a translation from the original Chinese (or any other language) fails to come across in "normal" English.

The term Chinglish is a fusion of the "Chin" from Chinese and the "glish" from English. Chinglish is not a racist or bigoted term and should not be taken as such. If anything, The Chinglish Files are a way of poking fun at how difficult our flawed English language can be to translate at times. It is not intended as a dig at the intelligence or linguistic capabilities of other nations.

HOLIDAY GREETINGS

The gallery of unfortunate Easter cards.

THE TRUE BUNNY

Our crack research staff here at the Sun has uncovered some disturbing facts about the Easter Bunny that every irate, reactionary Canadian should know.

MEETING A CELEBRITY

A scenario: you are gamboling along the promenade when you spot your favorite celebrity enjoying a gelato. You stop in your tracks, jaw agape. You have often felt that you and this celebrity would become fast friends were you ever to meet; now, finally, is your opportunity.

What to do? How best to approach? Casually? With vigor? Should you “accidentally” spill your Big Gulp on his sweater?

DUMB STUFF

A collection of useless Japanese inventions.

POPE’S HAT CHIP

A Doritos Chip that amazingly resembles the Pope’s Mitre (a.k.a. His Holiness’ “really tall hat”) was found in a bag of Doritos “Nacho Cheesier Doritos” this evening, according to The Chadwick family of Salem, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston.

After much deliberation amongst the family about what to do with the chip, it was decided that it would be unfair to not share it with the world. Following the recent trends of auctioning religious memorabilia, the chip was immediately ushered to a late-night photo session and then posted on the worldwide auction site, eBay.

LED TOILET

The transparent toilet seat GALACTIKA is equipped with tiny ultra bright Chip-LED in 5 colors: pole-white, sundance-yellow, scarlet-red, amparo-blue and emerald-green.

PERFECT SIDEBURNS

One day as I was trimming my sideburns, I realized how difficult it was each day to get the clean, fresh look of even sideburns. One side would look longer, so I would trim some more, than it seemed the other side was longer. I kept going back and forth, from one side to the other. By the time I was finished with my morning grooming routine, my sideburns were shorter than I wanted and I was frustrated by the daily battle to achieve the look I wanted.

THE WORST JOBS

The history we are taught usually features the lives and times of the great and the good, of the haves and not the have-nots. But the famous aristocrats and monarchs could not have existed without the battalions of minions who performed the tasks that were beneath their masters.

WEIRD STUFF

The top 25 weirdest items you can purchase through Amazon.

BOLOGNA RECIPES

Did y’all know that Americans eat 800 million pounds of bologna annually? And that’s just my family up in the hills!

Uses for bologna:

Catfish Bait
Hair pomade
Filler for casseroles
Lubricant for door hinges, bicycle chains, and squeaky cabinets
Shoe polish
Redneck perfume
And many more!

MAIL-ORDER HUSBANDS

I’m definitely a classic romantic. I like a candlelight dinner, some quiet background music, and a couple hits of ether. I prefer a woman that has insurance, and a car would be great as I need to make the occassional trip to Mexico to pick up “souvenirs.”

NUMA NUMA DANCE

This one’s been around for awhile but still a fun view.

HOLD THE BUTTON

See if you can beat the record.

FREAKS OF NATURE

Two-headed lizards and other oddities.

BELLYDANCING LIBRARIAN

Our dedicated Info Pro spends her days in sensible footwear, assisting her clients with a multiplicity of information needs. Cataloging books, searching online databases, fixing printer jams, teaching people how to use indices, and explaining why everything knowable is not yet on the Internet are among her many tasks.

But man — and woman — do not live by information alone. At night, our gal trades her Birkenstocks for beads and serves her adoring public’s entertainment needs with the music and dance of the Middle East.

BUY IRELAND

Have you always dreamed of travelling to or buying property in Ireland? Did one or more members of your family emigrate from Ireland years ago, and you have always felt a historical connection to the beautiful island of Ireland?

Now, for just US$49.99 (with free worldwide shipping) you can purchase a small plot of land, one square foot in size, in rural Ireland. We will send you formal legal documents certifying your ownership of the property, as well as a map and address details showing you how to locate your property, should you ever have the opportunity to visit in person. You’ll also receive two photographs of the stunning surrounding area.

CUTTING ONIONS

Hold the onion firmly in your right hand and a small knife in your left with your forefinger wrapped around the blade. Support your knife hand against the onion with your left thumb. Cut just the tendril-like portion of the root from the onion. Using the knife with a slight sawing motion, make the cut at the juncture of the skin and the root so the skin remains intact and the root is cut flush with the surface of the onion.

REVISIONIST HISTORY

The following are actual excerpts from history reports and tests from America's finest high schools and colleges. Spelling has been preserved.

CORN MAZE

Find your way through a virtual corn maze.

HOBO SLANG

Compiled from many books on hoboes, and also some original material supplied to the author.

accommodation - a local freight train
ace spot - one dollar
airdale - an extreme loner
alkee stiff - a tramp that consumed alcohol
alki - a) an alcoholic b) alcohol
alligator bait - fried or stewed liver
All Tramps Sent Free - Atchinson, Topeka and Santa Fe RR
anchor - a pick
angel - a person who gives more than you expect
angel food - a mission sermon

STANDING BY STATUES

I travel around the world and stand by statues, and I’ve gotten some of my friends in on the act.

MOVING A HIPPO

You’ll need:

1,000-gallon tank per hippo
1,000 gallons of water
Crane
1-pound sedative
Soothing hippo music
2 Aspirin (for you)

BATMAN LOGOS

There have been many Batman logos over the years.

ICON WARS

When you’re away from home.

ENUNCIATE

Here are the 100 English words that are most often mispronounced (“mispronunciation” among them).

CASKET FURNITURE

Why buy a casket for just one day?
At CasketFurniture.com, our products can last you a lifetime, and still be the perfect vehicle to carry you to the great beyond. Whether it's a couch, shelf, or end table, our products are designed to blend effortlessly into most contemporary interior designs. Every product can also be transformed into a high-quality casket at your time of need. Shop our current product selection below, or contact us to find out about custom manufacturing to suit your individual needs.

BRIDGE

The ongoing story of the persistent attempts to get to the other side.

ETCH-A-SKETCH

The ETCH-A-SKETCH can be made a permanent piece of art. This is done by drilling the back and removing the contents. The completed work can be framed.

BAD EGG

Here are the absolute worst musical acts to ever perform for cash.

WE ARE ZOGG

It was with genuine anticipation that I opened the book, curious to know what the people at Little Golden Books believed small children who stick Beeferoni up their noses could absorb about the Inscrutible One.

You cannot imagine my horror, however, when my eyes met pages filled with saccharine, pastel artwork depicting cold-eyed androids that were clearly not of our realm. In a Beautiful Mind moment of schizophrenic clarity I saw the book for what it was: not a gentle introduction to life's most profound curiosity, but a primer for the parasitic offspring of an invisible invasion!

DELUXE BRAIN

This medially divided deluxe brain model shows the brain arteries as well as the removable basilar artery. Both halves can be disassembled into:

Frontal with parietal lobes

Temporal with occipital lobes

Half of brain stem

Half of cerebellum

On removable base.

TOILET PAPER ALGORITHMS

We discovered that although we now had two rolls instead of one, the problem was not solved. Both rolls ran out at the same time. Sure, it took twice as long before the rolls emptied, but we were still stuck with the same problem: no more paper. We had discovered that the switch to two rolls meant we had to use more sophisticated behavior: the algorithm for tearing of paper mattered.

FISH BOWL

The Racetrack Fish Bowl is the perfect solution if your fish suffers from claustrophobia, or if you're simply looking for a tabletop conversation piece for your home or office. The Racetrack Fish Bowl is designed to give goldfish, which are said to have a memory of 7 seconds, the sensation of long distance swimming.

WARNING

Japanese warning signs are very different than warning signs in other parts of the world, because they usually contain a visual and easy to understand reason why something is dangerous or not allowed.

CHRISTIAN GOTH DOLLS

Raven: Has a beautiful light face, brown eyes and long shiny black hair in pig tails with skeleton head barrettes, wearing a long black velvet dress with black boots. Silver cross necklace and has a Bible around her wrist. Small black earrings, black colored nails & goth make-up.

Annika: (pronounced: Ahh-NEE-kah) Has a beautiful light face, blue eyes and long shiny blonde hair in a pony tail with a skull barrette on top. She is wearing a long black velvet dress with brown boots. Silver cross necklace and has a Bible around her wrist. Small black earrings, black colored nails & goth make-up.

TINY TROTTERS

We are a team of full grown LITTLE PEOPLE plus 1 large player, probably the world's smallest basketball team. Basketball like you have never seen before. Two hours of fun, laughter and entertainment. We will guide you through an exciting promotional event that will have you wanting to make it an annual event.

ULTIMATE POWER

Are you ready to get pumped? Click "Yes" if yes. Click "No" if you're a little baby.

BIG THINGS

What you will find here are photos of all of those tacky tourist attractions that are basically BIG! We go to great extremes to search and locate such landmarks.

LAWS OF STUPID

The first basic law of human stupidity asserts without ambiguity that:

Always and inevitably everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.

At first, the statement sounds trivial, vague and horribly ungenerous. Closer scrutiny will however reveal its realistic veracity. No matter how high are one's estimates of human stupidity, one is repeatedly and recurrently startled by the fact that:

a) people whom one had once judged rational and intelligent turn out to be unashamedly stupid.

b) day after day, with unceasing monotony, one is harassed in one's activities by stupid individuals who appear suddenly and unexpectedly in the most inconvenient places and at the most improbable moments.

The First Basic Law prevents me from attributing a specific numerical value to the fraction of stupid people within the total population: any numerical estimate would turn out to be an underestimate. Thus in the following pages I will denote the fraction of stupid people within a population by the symbol å.

CUP COLLECTION

It's somebody's birthday.

CLICK & DRAG

Trace by Thomas Petersen

WORDS FOR CHILD

1 tot
2 brat
3 lamb
4 sprog
5 lad (m)
6 wean (Scotland)
7 giglet (f)
8 kid
9 chit (f)
10 ankle-biter
And many, many more.

GET A NEW BRAIN!

GROW AN A+ BRAIN
in the next 30 days...
ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Don't believe it? NEITHER DID THESE FOLKS! But now they're showering praise on the astonishing Dr. Ray Sahelian.

Marge couldn't remember her phone number... but now her brain's 20 years younger...

Alice was about to get fired, but now she's super-productive...

Michael's depression disabled him, but this secret reversed it in just 3 days...

Diane was drooping with chronic fatigue, but now she's peppy all day...

Ted's a doctor himself, and he was amazed how this transformed his eyesight...

Proven on CNN, NBC Today, CBS This Morning...

ANTI-REJECTION

Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.

I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.

JESUS DOLL

Jesus Christ Action Figure (Flash)

TREE OCTOPUS

The Pacific Northwest tree octopus (Octopus paxarbolis) can be found in the temperate rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula on the west coast of North America. Their habitat lies on the Eastern side of the Olympic mountain range, adjacent to Hood Canal. These solitary cephalopods reach an average size (measured from arm-tip to mantle-tip,) of 30-33 cm. Unlike most other cephalopods, tree octopuses are amphibious, spending only their early life and the period of their mating season in their ancestrial aquatic environment. Because of the moistness of the rainforests and specialized skin adaptations, they are able to keep from becoming desiccated for prolonged periods of time, but given the chance they would prefer resting in pooled water.

GRAPE PLASMA

Please realize that although we haven't actually damaged any of the ovens we've done this with, the potential exists to damage or destroy the microwave that this is done in, and the possibility also exists that it could harm a human being if the proper precautions are not made. Please see to it that you are willing to pay $200 for a new microwave before you try this, and that you have a fire extinguisher nearby. If you are under age 18, please seek the supervision of a parent or guardian. I accept no responsibility should this experiment cause damage or injury. How to make a glowing ball of plasma in your microwave with a grape:

CAT DICTIONARY

Gakk-ak-ak: My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Wherever could this have come from? I shall leave it here upon the carpeting.

PORKOPOLIS

A repository of pig knowledge.

E-MAIL DISCLAIMERS

This e-mail is intended for the addressee shown. It contains information that is confidential and protected from disclosure. Any review, dissemination or use of this transmission or its contents by persons or unauthorized employees of the intended organisations is strictly prohibited.

WEIRD BAND NAMES

Admiral Poopy Pants and His Dancing Teeth
Adult Children of Heterosexuals
Adventures in Shrubbery
The Advil Monkeys
Affordable Floors
Afghanistan Banana Stand
Afro Chinstrap
Agent Orange in Bite-Size Tablets

Find all these and more!

SHOELACES

The humble shoelace knot is one area where practical knowledge can benefit our everyday lives. Most people only know the one shoelace knot that they learned as a child, having been taught by either a parent, a sibling, a relative, a teacher or even another child. Many would be surprised to know that there's more than one method, let alone fifteen! This sheer variety is testament to the ingenuity of people throughout the ages in their quest to prevent shoelaces from coming undone.

FIRE BIBLE

When was the last time your class saw how "HOT" God's Word is? Open this authentic looking "Bible" and begin to share the scripture for the day as real flames are seen coming from your "Bible". This full size book comes with a battery operated ignition system. All you supply are the batteries, lighter fluid and composure as your class gets excited. (special note: Fed-Ex shipping is available if you absolutely have to have the Fire Bible for this Sunday!)

World Domination Toys

Taking over the world, one toy at a time.

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Air Guitar World Championships

Air Guitars roared in Kuusisaari in Oulu for the ninth time – ideology of world peace will be spread for the next year by Miri "Sonyk-Rok" Park from the United States and Tarquin ”The Tarkness” Keys from New Zealand. Besides worldwide fame and glory, Sonyk-Rok and The Tarkness received handmade Finnish Flying Finn guitars worth 2,500 euros as well as VOX BM Special amplifiers designed and donated by Queen guitarist Brian May.

Parking Spots

People take photographs of toy cars next to real cars.

Japanese Vending Machines

With one vending machine per an estimated 23 people, Japan has the world's highest vending machine density.

Voodoo Knife Holder

How to Win Arguments

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments.

Donkey Donkey

Anyone know what this is about?

Who Wants to Marry a Founding Father?

In 1787 in Philadelphia, fifty-five Founding Fathers attended a convention that resulted in the drafting of the constitution of the United States. Now, through the wonders of the internet, you can be transported back to that place and time and marry one of the men who helped shape our country's institutions and most basic laws. They're all waiting for you--what do you say? (I promise you that none have ever had restraining orders issued against them.)

Psychic Plumbers

Our Qualified Team of crack psychic plumbers is STANDING BY to take your call.

Don’t worry, we KNOW what the problem is and how to solve it!

You don’t have to speak English or be able to conjugate verbs, all you have to do is be able to clearly describe the name and numbers on your credit card and our amazing team of psychic plumbers will be able to discern your every plumbing need without your ever having to make an intelligent statement.

Signs by Julia

I called every number in the Baltimore phone book under "Signs." I said I wanted to have a hand-painted sign made that said "Signs by Julia." Below are some of the results.

Klingons for Christ

Klingons for Christ is a place to discover the teachings of Christ in a new light. No disrespect to any faith, race, aliens, or fans is intended. But the way of the Klingon Warrior can, and should, include the teachings of the King of Kings and
Lord of Lords.

Cheesy Jesus

Where else can you find a glow-in-the-dark Mary figurine or a Jesus ashtray?

How to Make a Zombie

Zombie Recipe

To make a zombie requires:

-one freshly, almost dead, person (see below)
-some human bone and flesh
-several varieties of exotic plants
-a few reptiles
-one type of worm
-a centipede
-a special type of spider
-a puffer fish

The Official Ramen Homepage

How to Cook Ramen in the microwave

1. To cook a package of Ramen noodles in an 1100W microwave, crumble the back into a bowl with a round bottom. Add ½ cup water and stir to wet all the noodles as thoroughly as possible. Cover the bowl (use plastic wrap film if it doesn’t have a cover).

2. Cook 1½ minutes on HIGH. Quickly stir again to be sure everything is wetted.

3. Cook 1½ minutes at 30% power.

Jewish Hero Corps

The Jewish Hero Corps is a Super-Hero Team whose common enemies are Jewish amnesia and apathy. Each of the heroes, some with Superpowers, some with clever devices of their own making, fight for Jewish values and truth, justice, and the American way.

Badgerphone

World Toilet Organization

We do it everyday, yet we do not talk about it. It is 'taboo' on one hand and impolite to talk about it. Yet, when we go to 'toilets away from home' we sometimes put up with the many discomforts like hygiene problems, inadequate sanitation, design flaws and many other problems associated with public toilets.

Public toilets serve the male and female but it goes beyond that. What about the visually, physically and mentally handicapped, the child, the elderly, or people with babies, as well as certain religious and cultural toilet requirements? The female visits the toilet 3 times longer than the male; logically they need more toilet cubicles because of the absence of urinals.

Nausea

How Rich Are You?

Every year we gaze enviously at the lists of the richest people in world.
Wondering what it would be like to have that sort of cash. But where
would you sit on one of those lists? Here’s your chance to find out.

Get Ordained

Welcome! You are about to become an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, Modesto, California. Please be sure to find out about the legal doctrines governing your country, state or province.

After you fill out the following form, your request will be promptly reviewed by pastoral staff. You will receive notification of your ordination status by email.

Ordinations are conducted several times each week, so normally you will hear from us within a day or two.

Mister Nice Hands

Pathetic Motorways

Pathetic Motorways is dedicated to those motorways within the United Kingdom that are not perhaps, the greatest feats of engineering ever seen...

Generally, this site exists to poke a little bit of fun at some rather silly things, and hopefully to educate about some not very well known items!

What makes a motorway pathetic?
Well, that rather depends on the motorway. Some are pathetic due to their sheer length (or lack of it!). Some because they're not even dual carriageways, and some simply because there's something, perhaps even a single feature that's really quite daft about them.

A Pathetic Motorway might be short. It might have a really daft feature, perhaps a junction. It might simply be quiet! It may even be useful, but not well-known outside its local area.

NES Buckle

Once brushed off as merely a myth in the video game world, the long rumored, much talked about NES Buckle is now available to grace your pants. Yes, it's a real Nintendo controller, yes, its a real belt buckle, and yes, it will actually hold up your trousers.

Dollar Bill Origami

Yntrodxkshxn tu Nuspelynh

Correct spelling and pronouncing of English words are very hard because words are not spelled as they sound. This is due in part to the eclectic nature of English and its readiness to accept loan words from other languages. This is also due in part to the age of the language. Over time, the pronunciations of words change, and it is often difficult for a writing system to keep up. But for the most part, British intellectuals intentionally made spelling difficult in order to use language as an instrument of class stratification. The gulf between the educated and uneducated classes was deliberately widened by tying spelling to forms which were historical rather than phonetic.

How to Make Friends by Telephone

The Fighting Nun

She’s got a habit of fighting for what’s right! Suited in her traditional habit, our most popular punching puppet comes out swinging with finger-activated arms that move independently and a spring-action head that bobs and weaves.

Lost in Translation

What happens when an English phrase is translated (by computer) back and forth between 5 different languages? The authors of the Systran translation software probably never intended this application of their program. As of September 2003, translation software is almost good enough to turn grammatically correct, slang-free text from one language into grammatically incorrect, barely readable approximations in another. But the software is not equipped for 10 consecutive translations of the same piece of text. The resulting half-English, half-foreign, and totally non sequitur response bears almost no resemblance to the original.

Hero Builders

Personalized action figures and custom action figures that look, talk, and dress just like you.

All this in only 3 weeks guaranteed. Yes! We can make either 1 or a million.

Save the Children

Losing your child to a deadly Cicada can be very traumatic. To prevent such a tragedy, we recommend wrapping your children tightly with shrink-wrapping.

Inner Geek

1. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
2. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
3. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.

Phonebashing

A friend who works for a lighting company, that shall remain nameless,
informed us that he was working on a video shoot for an anti mobile phone song. He also let us know that the main characters in the video would be wearing man-size mobile phone suits. After an evening of heavy drinking a plan was hatched and all concerned decided that this was a cause worth fighting for.

Sushi Etiquette

Never dip sushi in soy sauce from the rice-side and suck up too much amount. It will be too bitter to eat, or will damage the taste of sushi seriously.

Compendium of Lost Words

The Compendium lists over 400 of the rarest modern English words - in fact, ones that have been entirely absent from the Internet, including all online dictionaries, until now. By revealing the existence of these words online, I do not necessarily promote their revival, but I do encourage an appreciation of the flexibility of English vocabulary.

Herman Melville: Prophet

Assassinations foretold in Moby Dick

Competitive Eating

The International Federation of Competitive Eating, Inc. supervises and regulates eating contests in their various forms throughout the world. The IFOCE helps to ensure that the sport remains safe, while also seeking to achieve objectives consistent with the public interest -- namely, creating an environment in which fans may enjoy the display of competitive eating skill.

Moms Insisting on Licensed Tools

Unbeknownst to most Americans, a Danger lurks in our homes. As common as a clothespin but as deadly as a snake, many look directly at it without realizing the menace in their midst.

Yes, friends, we are talking about Full Auto Assault Tools. Studies have shown that the MAJORITY of American homes have at least ONE of these devices in them already, with more being added all the time, thanks to efforts by the Tool Lobby to promote their ownership. Power tools- in the hands of unskilled and unlicensed users- kill a tremendous number of people each year- maiming most, electrocuting the remainder. Many of the victims are children.

Blind Chihuaha

The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua has been "The thinking cur's Christian presence on the Internet™" since it was launched on July 4, 1996.

If you are put off by the traditional approaches to Religion, including Christianity, this site may be for you. Please forgive us the occasional fit of orthodoxy. You may bring your own dogma, if it doesn't bite.

A Fantastic Opportunity

Soul extraction is painless and worry-free. You need never remember your previous soulful existence, and look forward to a "life" of money and security.

Zen Without the Wait

Are you the type of person who longs for patience and tranquility in your life? Of course you are, but in our modern society who has the time? Now it's possible. With the items contained in this kit you can quickly and efficiently reach an inner peace that can take monks an entire lifetime to achieve.

Kungfu Bunny

Michael Jackson Impersonators

Yoga Kitty

For the first time in the history of the planet, ancient yogic secrets of healing energy are available to all, regardless of social status, income, religion, age, sex, or species.

Higher Consciousness...
It's Not Just For Humans Anymore.

Star Wars Helmets

Welcome to the helmet, armor and costume archive from the Star Wars galaxy. This site is a showcase of the very best Star Wars props, Original, Licensed and Fan-made.

Say Uncle

Father may know best and Mom is the queen of the house, but what would television be like without those memorable uncles who often served as the shakiest branch on the family tree? Here is a list of TV’s favorite uncles and a brief rundown on what makes them so special.

Buy your own planet

Utilikilt

We are committed to pioneer a comfortable alternative to trousers by producing "Men's Unbifurcated Garments" (MUG's). Our patented utility design reflects the company's high standards and integrity.

England's Ugliest

We've put together a collection of what we believe to be the most hideous cars that have ever had the nerve to tread the tarmac of Britain. Past or present, cheap or expensive we'll consider them all. We don't give a monkey's if a car was a technological marvel of its day - if it looks awful today, we'll list it.

Cheap Travel

For travellers who are REALLY on a budget and are looking for a way to skim a few bucks off their travel expenses, why not consider sleeping in an airport? Many airports are actually better than local lodging. And to top it off - IT'S FREE! Your friends and family may look at you funny when you return with your airport stories, but that's only part of the fun. So now, sit back....get out your travel itinerary and plan which airports you're going to sleep in (or avoid altogether) during your next trip.

World Beard and Moustache Championships

To be honest with you, I think they should just eliminate the Olympics all together and replace it with the WBMC.

Infinite Cat

It all began innocently enough when a user on an Apple help web site posted a picture of his cat, Frankie, contemplating the beauty of a flower. Shortly afterwards another user posted a picture of his cat bristling at the image of Frankie on the monitor. I decided this was too much fun and advanced the concept as The Infinite Cat Project which is, simply, cats regarding cats regarding cats . . .

Squirrel Fishing

We simply tie peanuts to the end of the string (using slipknot). No hook was used and no squirrel was harmed during this research.

Rejection Letter

Ray Battaglia proves that purveyors of alcohol aren't just in it for the money.