Out of town. Back on August 13.

BACON STRIPS BANDAGES

Ouch! That smarts! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes and scratches with the incredible healing power of a designer bandage from Accoutrements. And if a fancy bandage isn't enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE TOY! Each comes in a 3-3/4" tall metal pocket tin and contains a small plastic trinket to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no time. The 3" x 1" Bacon Strips are cut to look like small slabs of bacon. Fifteen per tin.

HOW GAY IS YOUR WEBSITE?

Test it now! The gay-o-meter will tell you in a second. Just enter the URL and push that button. You go girl!

THINGS THAT DON’T EXIST

A successful chinese-Canadian that has Asperger's syndrome and learned to deal with it without help from anyone.
A dog that smells good when it gets wet.
A board game called Richard Rance in The Pants
Post 14715, at the time of this posting
A person who shook someone's hand and thought it was like shaking a wet fish, and then looked down and saw that they actually had a wet fish growing off their stump arm
A person who went to SCS and said 'No'.
A total of the list so far minus any postings that include that guy whose name starts with an R and rhymes with "pants".
Richard Rance's dancing pants
dry rain
Olfactory Puns

POSTAL EXPERIMENTS

Having long been genuine admirers of the United States Postal Service (USPS), which gives amazingly reliable service especially compared with many other countries, our team of investigators decided to test the delivery limits of this immense system. We knew that an item, say, a saucepan, normally would be in a package because of USPS concerns of entanglement in their automated machinery. But what if the item were not wrapped? How patient are postal employees? How honest? How sentimental? In short, how eccentric a behavior on the part of the sender would still result in successful mail delivery?

Testing the Limits

We sent a variety of unpackaged items to U.S. destinations, appropriately stamped for weight and size, as well as a few items packaged as noted. We sent items that loosely fit into the following general categories: valuable, sentimental, unwieldy, pointless, potentially suspicious, and disgusting. We discovered that although some items were never delivered, most of the objects of even highly unusual form did get delivered, as long as the items had a definitely ample value of stamps attached. The Postal Service appears to be amazingly tolerant of the foibles of its public and seems occasionally willing to relax specific postal regulations.


Procedures

Our research staff began the project by obtaining and reviewing relevant information on USPS regulations and discussing, in a limited and very hypothetical manner, the planned project with USPS 800 number personnel. A group of mailable objects was then assembled, stamped with abundant postage by weight and size, and mailed at public postal collection boxes (when possible to cram the object through the aperture) or at postal stations (if possible). A card was strapped to the object with duct tape or stranded strapping tape, and postage was affixed to the card, except as otherwise noted below.

Senders and receivers were interchangeable; the mailings were double-masked to conceal the identity of our mailing specialists, and gloves were used to prepare the mailings (to avoid fingerprints). In no case was a return address given; each object either went forward to its destination or was lost to follow-up. An object was considered lost if it was not received within the 180-day study parameter. All objects were sent first class using five-digit ZIP codes to actual domestic addresses, and the number of days to delivery were recorded (excluding postal holidays). The condition of the object upon receipt was also recorded, if it had changed, as was any unusual communication, verbal or written, from the postal carrier or counter clerk.